For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 13

1801 - 1826

“The worthy President always appeared as the friend, who had lived himself into one with the wife of his bosom.”

--An obituary for John Adams

            Following his defeat for the Presidency, John retired from politics to spend time with his family.  He and Abigail stayed in their home, where they frequently hosted their family and friends.  They kept up with politics and current events, especially because their son, John Quincy, was a diplomat.  John also picked up his pen and resumed his correspondence with Thomas Jefferson in 1812.  They wrote about their present lives and the past service they had both performed for their country.  They had not written to each other in nearly a decade, but with both men out of politics, the friendship resumed and continued to their deaths. 

In October 1818, Abigail fell ill once more.  John wrote to Jefferson, on October 20^th, “The dear Partner of my Life for fifty Years as a Wife and for many Years more as a Lover, now lyes in extremis, forbidden to speak or be spoken to” (Cappon, II. 529).  On Monday, October 26, Abigail spoke for the first time in nearly a month.  She told John that if it was the will of Heaven she was ready to die.  She was only living for John.  After John came down the stairs from the room where Abigail had died, he said, “I wish I could lie down beside her and die too” (qtd. in McCullough 623).  After her death, John was truly heart-broken.  In November he wrote to his son, John Quincy, “The separation cannot be so long as twenty separations heretofore.  The pangs and anguish have not been so great as when you and I embarked for France in 1778” (qtd. in McCullough 624).  John never missed Abigail more than he did after her death.  While she was alive, he always had the correspondence with her, even if he could not be with her, and he always could go back home to Abigail.  John lost his closest companion and the person who supported him through everything.

In another letter, this one to his granddaughter Caroline, John wrote, “She never by word or look discouraged me from running all hazards for the salvation of my country’s liberties; she was willing to share with me, and that her children should share with us both, in all the dangerous consequences we had to hazard” (qtd. in Gelles 172).  John knew that Abigail could have protested at any time about John being away, but she always accepted it, and shared with John in all of his failures and successes.

            After Abigail’s death, John continued to spend time with family and friends, and he continued to write to Thomas Jefferson, with Adams’ letters outnumbering Jefferson’s about four to one.  In 1825, John was able to congratulate his son John Quincy on his election as the sixth President of the United States.  On July 4, 1826, the fiftieth anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence, Thomas Jefferson lay in his bed at his home in Monticello.  He died around one o’clock in the afternoon.  On the same day, around six o’clock in the afternoon, John Adams awakened from his sleep on his deathbed.  Told that it was the Fourth of July, Adams responded, “It is a great day.  It is a good day.”  In his final breath around six-twenty, Adams spoke, unaware that his friend had died hours earlier: “Thomas Jefferson lives” (McCullough 647).  An obituary for the late second President read, “The worthy President always appeared as the friend, who had lived himself into one with the wife of his bosom” (Withey 315).  At the time of his death, people realized Adams’ commitment to both his wife and his country.  Although recent biographies have reminded the current generations about Adams’ service to his country, his love for his wife has often been overlooked.  It is important for people today to understand the complete portrait of this exceptional man.

For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 11

1788 - 1796 

“I long to be at home, but I dare not ask leave to go. The Times are too critical for any Man to quit his Post without the most urgent necessity.”

--John Adams to Abigail Adams from Philadelphia, April 1, 1794 (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence)

The new government of the United States was being established as John and Abigail were arriving back home.  John served as the first Vice President of the new nation under George Washington.  The capital was first in New York City, then in Philadelphia.*  Abigail was with John for his first four years, setting up the houses and entertaining guests.  John was dissatisfied with his position, but he served a second term after being elected.  Abigail remained in Massachusetts for the entire second term as Vice President to save money and to avoid endangering her often fragile health. 

Upon their arrival back in Massachusetts, John and Abigail moved into a new home in Quincy (which is now part of the Adams National Historical Park).  Their furniture arrived from Europe, but soon after it was unloaded from the ship and moved into the house, John was on his way to New York.  In March 1789, John Adams was elected to be the first Vice President of the United States of America, second only to George Washington, the great victorious general of the Revolution.  He took the oath of office on April 21 in New York City.  By May, he was writing to Abigail of the problems he was facing.  “I have as many difficulties here, as you can have; public and private, but my Life from my Cradle has been a series of difficulties and that series will continue to the Grave,” he wrote on May 14^th.  Two weeks later, he complained that he must live “in a Style much below our Rank and station” because of the high costs in the city (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 14 May 1789, 30 May 1789).  A week onwards from there, John wrote to Abigail again.  “I must now most Seriously request you to come on to me as soon as conveniently you can,” he told Abigail.  “Never did I want your assistance more than at present” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 6 Jun 1789).  Not only was John occupied setting up his house, entertaining guests and fulfilling the demands of his job, but he was also unwell.  Abigail did go to New York, and she followed to Philadelphia when the United States capital was moved to there in 1790 and would remain with John through most of his first term as Vice President.

John was never happy with the position of Vice President.  He found it a superfluous position and he aimed for the Presidency.  “Four years more will be as long as I shall have a Taste for public Life or Journeys to Philadelphia,” he wrote to Abigail just before he was re-elected to the Vice Presidency.  “I am determined in the meantime to be no longer the Dupe, and run into Debt to Support a vain Post which has answered no other End than to make me unpopular” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 28 Dec 1792).  After John’s re-election to the post, Abigail remained in Quincy (as Braintree had been renamed) throughout the entire term.  John was able to be home half of the time, as Congress was only in session about six months of the year.  The state of their health as well as the high cost of living in Philadelphia were both considerations for this choice (Withey 223, McCullough 440). 

During his second term, with Abigail away from him, the letter-writing between them picked up again.  John wrote of how he wished to be home with Abigail, but he also wrote detailed directions regarding the running of the farm or other business.  She, in turn, wrote of how she missed him and included her own detailed responses of information regarding the business at home. 

Halfway through his second term, John wrote home, “My forces of Mind and Body are nearly spent. Few Years remain for me, if any. In public Life probably fewer still, If I could leave my Country in greater Security, I should retire with Pleasure.”  Another letter followed, with John wishing to leave, but excusing himself for staying, until at least the fourth of March lest “I shall be charged with deserting the President, forsaking the secretary of State, betraying my friend Jay, abandoning my Post and sacrificing my Country to a weak Attachment to a Woman and a weaker fondness for my farm” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 16 Jan 1795, 2 Feb 1795).  As he had for the past twenty years, John was claiming he was almost done with the political life; he was ready to come home.  Yet he maintained that he had to delay that wish in the name of serving his country that needed him.

The next year, when John found out that George Washington was most likely stepping down after his term was over, John wondered what his duty would demand of him.  “It is no light thing to resolve upon Retirement,” he wrote to Abigail.  He continued, “I love my Country too well to shrink from Danger in her service provided I have a reasonable prospect of being able to serve her to her honour and Advantage,” meaning that if he won the Presidency, he must take it, but if he won a lower position, especially the Vice Presidency again under someone he did not agree with, he should refuse in the interest of the country.  “The Probability is strong that I shall make a voluntary Retreat and spend the rest of my days in a very humble Style with you,” he wrote to Abigail. “Of one Thing I am very sure. It would be to me the happiest Portion of my whole Life” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 7 Jan 1796).  This was not to be.  John Adams would be called on to serve his country one last time.

---

* The federal capital was in New York City from George Washington’s inauguration as President of the United States on March 4, 1789 until August 1790, when it moved to Philadelphia.  The capital moved again in 1800, this time to the newly created city on the banks of the Potomac River, which is present-day Washington, D.C.

For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 9

1782 - 1784 

“Oh When shall I see my dearest Friend.–All in good Time. My dear blue Hills, ye are the most sublime object in my Imagination. At your reverend Foot, will I spend my old Age, if any, in a calm philosophical Retrospect upon the turbulent scænes of Politicks and War.”

--John Adams to Abigail Adams from Amsterdam, Mar 22, 1782 (Butterfield, IV. 301)

A month before John would take up residence in the first American legation in Europe in the Hôtel des Etats-Unis at the Hague, Abigail wrote him a lengthy letter. “Eight years have already past, since you could call yourself an Inhabitant of this State,” she remarked.  “I shall assume the Signature of Penelope, for my dear Ulysses has already been a wanderer from me near half the term of years that, that Hero was encountering Neptune, Calipso, the Circes and Syrens.”  She closed the letter letting him know how she wished to be there to “partake of your Labours and cares, sooth you to rest, and alleviate your anxieties” (Butterfield, IV. 306, 308).  Two days after John moved into the Hôtel des Etats-Unis, on May 14, 1782, he wrote Abigail, “I must go to you or you must come to me.  I cannot live, in this horrid Solitude, which it is to me, amidst Courts, Camps and Crowds” (Butterfield, IV. 323).  This letter would be the first of many calls by John over the next couple of years for Abigail to make the voyage to join him in Europe.

In August, with an American victory seemingly more clear, Abigail wrote to John, “But will you can you think of remaining abroad? Should a peace take place I could not forgive you half a years longer absence… I begin to think there is a moral evil in this Seperation, for when we pledged ourselves to each other did not the holy ceremony close with, ‘What God has joined Let no Man put assunder’” (Butterfield, IV. 358).  In September, she wrote that she had started to feel even more pained at the separation day after day.  She let John know, “To say I am happy here, I cannot, but it is not an idle curiosity that make me wish to hazard the Watery Element. I much more sincerely wish your return. Could I hope for that during an other year I would endeavour to wait patiently the Event” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 5 Sep 1782).  In October, Abigail shifted her request.  “I resolve with myself, to do as you wish,” she wrote.

If I can add to your Happiness, is it not my duty? If I can soften your Cares, is it not my duty? If I can by a tender attention and assiduity prolong your most valuable Life, is it not my duty?[. . . ]Yet if you do not consent so much is my Heart intent upon it, that your refusal must be couched in very soft terms, and must pledge yourself to return speedily to me[. . . .]I feel loth you should quit your station untill an Honorable peace is Established, and you have added that to your other Labours. Tis no small satisfaction to me that my country is like to profit so largely by my sacrifices. (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 8 Oct 1782)

Again, Abigail is willing to do whatever John wishes; she will love him no less.  She will be satisfied if he returns to her and she will be satisfied if he continues to serve his country well. 

On October 25^th, John and Abigail’s wedding anniversary, Abigail wrote to John that eighteen years have passed yet their fire still “Burns with unabating fervour, old ocean has not Quenched it, nor old Time smootherd it.”  She missed John dearly, but she also supported his position and where it took him.  “How dearly have I paid for a titled Husband,” she wrote in the same letter.  “Should I wish you less wise, that I might enjoy more happiness? I cannot find that in my Heart” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence).  John wrote only once to her in November and twice in December.  Sentiments were few, but in his diary on November 13 he marked an anniversary: “This is the Anniversary of my quitting home. Three Years are compleated. Oh when shall I return?” (Adams Family Papers, Diary).

On December 23^rd, Abigail wrote a touching letter to John.  “I look back to the early days of our acquaintance; and Friendship, as to the days of Love and Innocence; and with an undiscribable pleasure I have seen near a score of years roll over our Heads, with an affection heightned and improved by time,” she wrote, letting him know that her love was as strong as ever for John.  Ending the letter, Abigail recalled a conversation she had a few days prior.  The person asked Abigail if she would have consented to John’s appointment if she knew he would be gone so long. “If I had known Sir that Mr. A. could have affected what he has done,” she wrote, “I would not only have submitted to the absence I have endured; painfull as it has been; but I would not have opposed it” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence).  Again, the intense love shared by Abigail and John was entangled with the love of their country, and there was no giving up one for the other in their minds.

The new year would send John off to The Hague once again, after he spent the end of 1782 signing the preliminary peace treaty with Great Britain.  In August, John and John Quincy went back to Paris and on September 3, 1783, the final peace treaty between the new United States and Great Britain, the Treaty of Paris, was signed by David Hartley representing the King of England and Benjamin Franklin, John Jay, and John Adams representing the United States. 

With the treaty signed, John and John Quincy traveled to England to visit London, Oxford, and Bath.  While in London, John wrote to Abigail, “I cannot be happy, nor tolerable without you” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 8 Nov 1783).  In the letters John had sent to Abigail during the year, he had requested her to come to Europe to be with him.  In her responses, Abigail attempted to persuade John to come home.  When she realized that was not likely to happen, Abigail tried to excuse herself by claiming she did not think she could make the voyage or that she was not fit for the courts of Europe.  In December, Abigail made one last effort to bring John home.  “If you felt yourself under obligations during the dangers and perilous of war,” she wrote him on the thirteenth, “to sacrifice, your Health your ease and safety, to the independance and freedom of your Country, those obligations cannot now be equally binding” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 7 Dec 1783). 

She knew there was no convincing him though, and in February she wrote again to John, this time of her apprehensions about leaving her Country, her family and her friends to make a long, dangerous and harsh journey across the Atlantic.  “But on the other hand,” she wrote, “I console myself with the Idea of being joyfully and tenderly received by the best of Husbands and Friends, and of meeting a dear and long absent Son” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 11 Feb 1784).  It was with this consolation that Abigail would set sail from Boston with her daughter Abigail 2^nd to England on June 20, 1784.

For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 8

1779 - 1781

“I hope this will be the last Seperation, We shall suffer from each other,  for any Length of Time.”

--John Adams to Abigail Adams off Cape Ann, November 1779 (Butterfield, III. 235)

            On September 27, 1779, Congress appointed John Adams to negotiate treaties of peace and commerce with Great Britain.  He did not, of course, turn down the appointment, and Abigail did not ask him to stay.  The country needed him.  John’s second trip to Europe was far more successful than his first.  John spent his time negotiating treaties of commerce, friendship and peace with European nations.  Abigail worried, as usual, about John’s health and safety, and she missed him, but she was happy as she could be without him as he was successful in the name of the country.  John was successful in negotiating treaties of commerce with some European nations, as well as obtaining loans for the United States.

            On November 15, 1779, John boarded La Sensible again, this time with John Quincy and Charles, and headed across the Atlantic Ocean.  Again Abigail stayed in Massachusetts as the couple felt it was too expensive and dangerous for her to go along.  A leak in the ship forced La Sensible to stop at El Ferrol, Spain.  Instead of spending his time doing nothing while waiting for the ship to be repaired, John set off for France overland across northern Spain.  The trip was long and arduous, over many mountain ranges including the Cantabrians, the Basque and the Pyrenees.  The Adamses would not arrive in Paris until February 9, 1780, about two months after they left El Ferrol.  John took time out to write to Abigail, “After this wandering Way of Life is passed I hope to return, to my best friend and pass the Remainder of our Days in Quiet” (Butterfield, III. 252). 

            While John was in Europe, Abigail would write to him concerning the war in the Colonies, the health of family, gossip about friends and officials, weather, and business.  Abigail also wrote to him requesting goods, usually when John was in Paris.  After John would ship items such as pins and clothing items to Abigail, she would sell them for extra money.  They were, of course, also filled with loving sentiments and wishes to be together again.  “May Heaven permit you and me to enjoy the cool Evening of Life, in Tranquility, undisturbed by the Cares of Politicks or War,” John wrote in June 1780, just as the Congress in the United States was commissioning him to raise a loan in the Netherlands. “And above all,” he continued,

with the sweetest of all Reflections, that neither Ambition, nor Vanity, nor Avarice, nor Malice, nor Envy, nor Revenge, nor Fear nor any base Motive, or sordid Passion through the whole Course of this mighty Revolution, and the rapid impetuous Course of great and terrible Events that have attended it, have drawn Us aside from the Line of our Duty and the Dictates of our Consciences!  (Butterfield, III. 367)

A month later, John would take his two sons from Paris to Amsterdam to raise a loan for the American cause.  Abigail wrote to John, exclaiming how happy she was that such an important charge was given to John.  “It would not become me to write the full flow of my Heart upon this occasion,” she wrote.  In the last six years, John and Abigail had seen each other for about nine months in all, yet they still both had an intense love for each other, and both were delighted in John’s position and accomplishments for the country.  While still in Paris at a dinner John had a conversation with Marie Grand, the wife of Ferdinand Grand, who was the French banker for American funds.  John remarked that sometimes it was a citizen’s duty to sacrifice his everything for the good of the country.  Marie Grand commended the sentiment, but found it hard to believe as true.  She remarked to John that loving one’s wife and children was a natural feeling that would “operate more powerfully” than the love one had for his country.  John responded to Marie Grand that not only were his feelings truthful, but his wife felt the same way as he did (McCullough 206).  Although many people may not have understood the feelings that John and Abigail had for each other and for their country, they understood each other perfectly.

The time apart, however, resulted in loneliness and heartache.  “My Dearest Friend,” Abigail began a letter at the end of December 1780 as they began almost every letter that they wrote to each other,

How much is comprised in that short sentance? How fondly can I call you mine, bound by every tie, which consecrates the most inviolable Friend-ship, yet seperated by a cruel destiny, I feel the pangs of absence some-times too sensibly for my own repose.  There are times when the heart is peculiarly awake to tender impressions…It is then that I feel myself alone in the wide world, without any one to tenderly care for me, or lend me an assisting hand through the difficulties that surround me.  (Butterfield, IV. 50)

            John would spend most of the year 1781 in the Netherlands, traveling only briefly to Paris in July.  Abigail worried about his health in the damp climate of the country.  John, for his part, told Abigail he wished for nothing more than to be home.  In May he wrote, “If I could get back again I would never more leave the Country, let who would beg, scold, or threaten.”  John would not be in his country again for seven years, but once he got back, he would never leave it again.  In July, John wrote Abigail again.  This time, he wished for wings so “that I might fly and bury all my Cares at the Foot of Pens Hill” where the Adamses home was (Butterfield, IV. 122, 170).  Abigail, who had not received a letter from John in some time, wrote in August, “I turn to the loved pages of former days and read them with delight. They are all my comfort, all my consolation in the long long interval of time that I have not received a line” (Butterfield, IV. 191).  John and Abigail loved each other through their letters for those seven years.  They shared views on politics, their fears, their ideas and their hopes.  They depended on each other for comfort and love.  Their letters to each other were everything (Withey 58).  It would take three more years of loving through letters before they were able to see each other again.  In ten years, save for the nine months John was in Massachusetts in 1779, John and Abigail only knew each other through their letters.

In October 1781, the Americans and French would strike a huge victory at Yorktown, Virginia when the British forces commanded by Lord Cornwallis surrendered after a siege of almost three weeks.  With the surrender of about 7,500 soldiers, approximately three-quarters of the British forces remained available on the continent.  The British still maintained a large force in New York and smaller forces throughout the country.  It was not clear to either side that the end of the war was near.  In fact, Washington believed it would continue on for at least another year, if not longer.  John was to be a key player in the signing of the peace treaty between Great Britain and the United States.

For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 4

1764 - 1774

“We live my dear Soul, in an Age or Tryal.  What will be the Consequence I know not.”

--John Adams to Abigail Adams, May 12, 1774 (Butterfield, I. 107)

            From the middle of the 1760s, John and Abigail, as well as many others in the American Colonies, grew conscious of the problems that might occur with the actions of Great Britain.  What the Adamses were not aware of was that the crisis would take John from his family and put his life at risk.

 The British passed the Stamp Act in 1765, creating a stir in the Colonies.  It was repealed only months after its passage.  In the interim, John was directly affected, as all of his law documents were subject to the tax.  Business in the courts slowed to a trickle.  John joined an organization at this time that would later call themselves the Sons of Liberty.  At meetings politics were discussed, and John would inform Abigail of the sentiments of the men in the meetings.  Both John and Abigail started to become aware that the Colonies and Britain were heading towards an impasse (Coit 3).  The following year, 1767, the Townshend Acts were passed in Britain.  The acts taxed items such as lead, paper, paint, glass, and tea, but unlike the Stamp Act, only imported items were taxed.  The Sons of Liberty, led by Samuel Adams, called for a boycott on these items from Britain.  The Townshend Acts were repealled in 1770, except for the tax on tea. 

Throughout this period, John Adams was involved with the Sons of Liberty and his opinions were shaped by those of the other members.  Abigail was influenced by John when he brought those opinions home.  In a letter written on December 5, 1773 to her good friend Mercy Otis Warren, Abigail clearly shows that, if not of her own mind and opinion, she was surely influenced in her opinion (as well as highly informed) of current events by her husband and their close friends.  She wrote,

The Tea that bainfull weed is arrived.  Great and I hope Effectual opposition has been made to the landing of it[. . . .]The flame is kindled and like Lightning it catches from Soul to Soul.  Great will be the devastation if not timely quenched or allayed by some more Lenient Measures.  Altho the mind is shocked at the Thought of sheding Humane Blood, more Especially the Blood of our Countrymen, and a civil War is of all Wars, the most dreadfull Such is the present Spirit that prevails, that if once they are made desperate Many, very Many of our Heroes will spend their lives in the cause, With the Speech of Cato in their Mouths, ‘What a pitty it is, that we can dye but once to save our Country.’ (Butterfield, I.  88)

The next day, angry residents of Boston, organized by Sam Adams and the Sons of Liberty, boarded the British tea ships that were in Boston Harbor and dumped the tea overboard.  John predicted the dire repercussions of the actions for the colonists shortly before the British acted.  “The Town of Boston, for ought I can see, must suffer Martyrdom: It must expire: And our principal Consolation is that it dies in a noble Cause,” John wrote just before some of the acts took effect.  He continued, “The Cause of Truth, of Virtue, of Liberty and of Humanity: and that it will probably have a glorious Reformation, to greater Wealth, Splendor and Power than ever” (Butterfield, I. 107).  In essence, John was writing that Boston would be the starting place of the war for independence. 

By the end of March, the British closed the Port of Boston until the damaged tea was paid in full.  The closing of the port was part of British acts which would be called the Intolerable Acts by the Colonies.  Elective government in the Colony was banned and any judge could decide to move a trial to Britain if he pleased.  The acts were aimed at Massachusetts, but were meant as a warning to the other Colonies as well.  

The first Continental Congress, which was to decide how the Colonies would proceed in their relations with their mother country, met in Philadelphia in September 1774.  For the first extended period of time John was away from Abigail. Abigail was aware of the role her husband would have to play.  “Your task is difficult and important,” she wrote days after he left her.  Abigail was already concerned about the worsening relations between Britain and the Colonies.  John’s safety was added to her worries about the family. “The great distance between us, makes the time appear very long to me,” she wrote to John less than a week later.  “It seems already a month since you left me.  The great anxiety I feel for my Country, for you and for our family renders the day tedious, and the night unpleasant” (Butterfield, I. 140, 142).  It was the first time in their marriage that John would be so far away from Abigail for such an extended period of time.

John, for his part, longed to be home, but he knew he would stay in Philadelphia as long as he needed to be there.  “Sitting down to write you, is a Scene almost too tender for my State of Nerves,” John wrote from “Phyladelphia” on September 29^th, seven weeks after he left Braintree.  He continued,

It calls up to my View the anxious, distress’d State you must be in, amidst the Confusions and Dangers, which surround you.  I long to return, and administer all the Consolation in my Power, but when I shall have accomplished all the Business I have to do here, I know not, and if it should be necessary to stay here till Christmas, or longer, in order to effect our Purposes, I am determined patiently to wait. (Butterfield, I. 163)

John would return before Christmas that year, but he would be on his horse to Philadelphia again shortly, to attend the second Continental Congress, this time leaving Abigail behind at a time when the war came very close to home.

            As tensions increased, John continued to spend more time away from Abigail and his family in order to contribute to the revolutionary cause.  The 1760s and early 1770s were only a preview of the conflict that was coming.  After 1774, John would spend less time at home and more time in the service of his country.

For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 3

Acquaintance and Courtship

“I begin to find that an increasing Affection for a certain Lady, (you know who my Dear) quickens my Affections for every Body Else, that does not deserve my Hatred.  A Wonder if the Fires of Patriotism, do not soon begin to burn!”

--John Adams to Abigail Adams,  April 20, 1763 (Butterfield, I. 5)

John and Abigail had a strong emotional and intellectual attachment.  However, when they first met in 1759, John was not impressed (Withey 13).  John was a twenty-three year old graduate of Harvard studying law.  Abigail was fifteen years old, and seemed always to be sick (McCullough 54).  He was the son of a farmer and she was a well-read daughter of a well-off parson.  When John’s friend, Richard Cranch, began courting Abigail’s sister Mary, John spent more time at the Smiths’ house and spent more time with Abigail, and the two got to know each other better.  An intellectual affinity was part of the attraction.  Edith Gelles, another of Abigail’s biographers, states that in addition it was “chemical, it was physical, it was humor, it was the fact they enjoyed being in one another’s company” (John).  These early meetings laid the groundwork for a lifetime of love and friendship.

In 1762, John and Abigail would exchange their first letter.  The letter, written by John and dated October 4, 1762, was flirtatious and playful and is the first of what would become about 1,180 known letters exchanged between the two lovers (Sikes).  “Miss Adorable” it began,

By the same Token that the Bearer hereof satt up with you last night I hereby order you to give him, as many Kisses, and as many Hours of your Company after 9 O’Clock as he shall please to Demand and charge them to my Account: This Order, or Requisition call it which you will is in Consideration of a similar order Upon Aurelia [Mary Smith, Abigail’s sister] for the like favour, and I presume I have good Right to draw upon you for the Kisses as I have given two or three Millions at least, when one has been received, and of Consequence the Account between us is immensely in favour of yours, John Adams. (Butterfield, I. 2)

The courtship continued until 1764.  In between, letters flowed from one to the other proclaiming love, affection, and a yearning to be together.  

            Sometimes words were not enough.  John ended his letter to Abigail on February 14, 1763, “Your–(all the rest is inexpressible) John Adams” (Butterfield, I. 3).  That same year, Abigail began to sign her letters “Diana” after the Roman goddess of the moon.  To her, John became Lysander, the Spartan hero (McCullough 55).  Their letters typically began with “My Dearest Friend,” and each of them meant it when they wrote those words.  Before they were married, John wrote to Abigail, describing her as “The dear Partner of all my Joys and sorrows, in whose Affections, and Friendship I glory, more than in all other Emoluments under Heaven, comes into my Mind very often and makes me sigh” (Butterfield, I. 17).

            Over the course of their courtship of nearly five years, John and Abigail came to know each other intimately, both emotionally and intellectually.  In the beginning, politics and humor along with their proclamations of love filled their letters to each other.  They became spouses and lovers, best friends and intellectual partners (Wood 38).  They were married on October 25, 1764 by Abigail’s father at the parsonage.  Afterwards, they moved into the house directly across from John’s mother.  He set up his law office in the front room of the house and was able to find time to spend with Abigail (Withey 25).  John went away every so often, appearing in courts across Massachusetts (which, at the time, included present day Maine).  He was never away long, but approaching events would soon change their happy home.

John and Abigail’s relationship was not love at first sight.  They grew to love each other over the first few years.  They went from having short meetings to longer ones, and when they could not physically be together, they wrote letters to each other to feel closer.  The time was nearing when the letters would be as close as they could get to each other.