For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 9

1782 - 1784 

“Oh When shall I see my dearest Friend.–All in good Time. My dear blue Hills, ye are the most sublime object in my Imagination. At your reverend Foot, will I spend my old Age, if any, in a calm philosophical Retrospect upon the turbulent scænes of Politicks and War.”

--John Adams to Abigail Adams from Amsterdam, Mar 22, 1782 (Butterfield, IV. 301)

A month before John would take up residence in the first American legation in Europe in the Hôtel des Etats-Unis at the Hague, Abigail wrote him a lengthy letter. “Eight years have already past, since you could call yourself an Inhabitant of this State,” she remarked.  “I shall assume the Signature of Penelope, for my dear Ulysses has already been a wanderer from me near half the term of years that, that Hero was encountering Neptune, Calipso, the Circes and Syrens.”  She closed the letter letting him know how she wished to be there to “partake of your Labours and cares, sooth you to rest, and alleviate your anxieties” (Butterfield, IV. 306, 308).  Two days after John moved into the Hôtel des Etats-Unis, on May 14, 1782, he wrote Abigail, “I must go to you or you must come to me.  I cannot live, in this horrid Solitude, which it is to me, amidst Courts, Camps and Crowds” (Butterfield, IV. 323).  This letter would be the first of many calls by John over the next couple of years for Abigail to make the voyage to join him in Europe.

In August, with an American victory seemingly more clear, Abigail wrote to John, “But will you can you think of remaining abroad? Should a peace take place I could not forgive you half a years longer absence… I begin to think there is a moral evil in this Seperation, for when we pledged ourselves to each other did not the holy ceremony close with, ‘What God has joined Let no Man put assunder’” (Butterfield, IV. 358).  In September, she wrote that she had started to feel even more pained at the separation day after day.  She let John know, “To say I am happy here, I cannot, but it is not an idle curiosity that make me wish to hazard the Watery Element. I much more sincerely wish your return. Could I hope for that during an other year I would endeavour to wait patiently the Event” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 5 Sep 1782).  In October, Abigail shifted her request.  “I resolve with myself, to do as you wish,” she wrote.

If I can add to your Happiness, is it not my duty? If I can soften your Cares, is it not my duty? If I can by a tender attention and assiduity prolong your most valuable Life, is it not my duty?[. . . ]Yet if you do not consent so much is my Heart intent upon it, that your refusal must be couched in very soft terms, and must pledge yourself to return speedily to me[. . . .]I feel loth you should quit your station untill an Honorable peace is Established, and you have added that to your other Labours. Tis no small satisfaction to me that my country is like to profit so largely by my sacrifices. (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 8 Oct 1782)

Again, Abigail is willing to do whatever John wishes; she will love him no less.  She will be satisfied if he returns to her and she will be satisfied if he continues to serve his country well. 

On October 25^th, John and Abigail’s wedding anniversary, Abigail wrote to John that eighteen years have passed yet their fire still “Burns with unabating fervour, old ocean has not Quenched it, nor old Time smootherd it.”  She missed John dearly, but she also supported his position and where it took him.  “How dearly have I paid for a titled Husband,” she wrote in the same letter.  “Should I wish you less wise, that I might enjoy more happiness? I cannot find that in my Heart” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence).  John wrote only once to her in November and twice in December.  Sentiments were few, but in his diary on November 13 he marked an anniversary: “This is the Anniversary of my quitting home. Three Years are compleated. Oh when shall I return?” (Adams Family Papers, Diary).

On December 23^rd, Abigail wrote a touching letter to John.  “I look back to the early days of our acquaintance; and Friendship, as to the days of Love and Innocence; and with an undiscribable pleasure I have seen near a score of years roll over our Heads, with an affection heightned and improved by time,” she wrote, letting him know that her love was as strong as ever for John.  Ending the letter, Abigail recalled a conversation she had a few days prior.  The person asked Abigail if she would have consented to John’s appointment if she knew he would be gone so long. “If I had known Sir that Mr. A. could have affected what he has done,” she wrote, “I would not only have submitted to the absence I have endured; painfull as it has been; but I would not have opposed it” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence).  Again, the intense love shared by Abigail and John was entangled with the love of their country, and there was no giving up one for the other in their minds.

The new year would send John off to The Hague once again, after he spent the end of 1782 signing the preliminary peace treaty with Great Britain.  In August, John and John Quincy went back to Paris and on September 3, 1783, the final peace treaty between the new United States and Great Britain, the Treaty of Paris, was signed by David Hartley representing the King of England and Benjamin Franklin, John Jay, and John Adams representing the United States. 

With the treaty signed, John and John Quincy traveled to England to visit London, Oxford, and Bath.  While in London, John wrote to Abigail, “I cannot be happy, nor tolerable without you” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 8 Nov 1783).  In the letters John had sent to Abigail during the year, he had requested her to come to Europe to be with him.  In her responses, Abigail attempted to persuade John to come home.  When she realized that was not likely to happen, Abigail tried to excuse herself by claiming she did not think she could make the voyage or that she was not fit for the courts of Europe.  In December, Abigail made one last effort to bring John home.  “If you felt yourself under obligations during the dangers and perilous of war,” she wrote him on the thirteenth, “to sacrifice, your Health your ease and safety, to the independance and freedom of your Country, those obligations cannot now be equally binding” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 7 Dec 1783). 

She knew there was no convincing him though, and in February she wrote again to John, this time of her apprehensions about leaving her Country, her family and her friends to make a long, dangerous and harsh journey across the Atlantic.  “But on the other hand,” she wrote, “I console myself with the Idea of being joyfully and tenderly received by the best of Husbands and Friends, and of meeting a dear and long absent Son” (Adams Family Papers, Correspondence 11 Feb 1784).  It was with this consolation that Abigail would set sail from Boston with her daughter Abigail 2^nd to England on June 20, 1784.

For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 7

1777 - 1779

“You wish you had ventured with me–I wish you was here–no I don’t, I wish I was there.” 

--John Adams to Abigail Adams from Passy, France, Dec 10, 1778 (Butterfield, III. 134)

            John was in Europe from 1778 to 1788, except for a brief three-month return to Massachusetts in 1779 (as well as three more months for travel time).  Abigail did not arrive in Europe until July 1784.  The six years of almost total absence strained the marriage briefly, especially during the first year and a half before John came back to Massachusetts.  This year and a half was particularly difficult for Abigail because she was not receiving correspondence from John on a regular basis the way she had when he was in Philadelphia.  It was also more treacherous to travel over the ocean, particularly during war time.  Interception and loss of letters was far more common at sea than on land during this period.  The gaps in communication led Abigail to gloominess and complaints.

On November 27, 1777, John Adams was elected by Congress to be a commissioner to France, along with Benjamin Franklin and Arthur Lee.  John spent the remainder of his time before his voyage with Abigail.  On February 14, 1778, John boarded the frigate Boston with his son, John Quincy, to sail for France.  Abigail was aware that his position was an important one both for the country and for John’s career. The next day she wrote to John Thaxter, a former law clerk of John’s and a tutor to the Adams’ children, “Your Friend might be more extensively usefull to his Country in this Department at this perticuliar time, than in any other.  I resign my own personal felicity and look for my satisfaction in the Consciousness of having discharged my duty to the publick” (Butterfield, II. 390).  John and Abigail were willing to suffer some personal unhappiness for the sake of John’s political career.  Their love was strong enough to endure the separations, and their belief in the revolution and their formidable sense of public duty allowed their marriage and their country to survive (Withey 75).

Other Congressmen declined to stay longer than one or two terms.  Other men representing the United States overseas cared little for their families, or simply did not have a family (Benjamin Franklin is a good example of the former, Thomas Jefferson of the latter after the passing of his wife).  John, however, accepted every appointment, near and far.  Abigail never attempted to convince him to decline any public position.  The couple was committed to the country and its cause and John was tied to its failure or success.  Should the revolution fail, John would be sought by the British and tried for treason, the penalty being death.  But should the revolution succeed, John would be a hero for his service, exalted and rewarded.  Still, John could have declined appointments and remained in service to his country in some other way.  John, however, felt that if his country asked him to serve in a particular capacity, he must do his best in that role, and Abigail agreed wholeheartedly. 

As John was leaving for France, the couple could not foresee that they would spend most of the next ten years apart from each other, suffering private wants for the sake of the public good (Withey 115).  While Abigail was cheerless at John’s absence, she took pleasure in knowing that she was John’s best friend and confidant.  Abigail kept abreast of events by writing correspondence to many people, including members of Congress, her good friend Mercy Otis Warren, and political figures.  They would keep her informed of the events in the States, in Europe and with John, especially when his communication was wanting, which would become often (Gelles 26).  Correspondence that John and Abigail sent to each other while John was in Philadelphia faced the dangers of interception or loss.  It also took time for letters to reach their destination, as they could only travel as fast as the rider carrying them.  The time and the dangers were nothing compared to what the couple would face after John boarded the Boston to sail for France.  Delays were the norm.  Storms kept ships in port; if an enemy ship came in for an attack, the letter-carrying ship usually threw all letters overboard to avoid the interception of sensitive material and letters were simply lost.  Moreover, even in peacetime, it took a letter months to cross the Atlantic instead of the days it took to go from Philadelphia to Boston.  John, being “so sensible of the Difficulty of conveying Letters safe,” was afraid to write anything more to Abigail then to tell her that “after all the Fatigues and Dangers of my Voyage, and Journey, I am here in Health” (Butterfield, III. xxviii, 9).  All of the letters John had written to Abigail while at sea were most likely lost for Abigail heard nothing of John for over two months.

As September rolled around, Abigail had scarcely heard from John.  The little she knew about him was what she heard through friends.  She wrote to John Thaxter in the beginning of September that she had only heard from her husband twice, and both of those letters came in April.  By the end of that month, Abigail wrote again to John; she acknowledged that four vessels bound from France to Boston had been captured, supposing that some letters from John had been lost in the process.  “If I had realized before you left me that the intercourse between us would have been so hazardous,” Abigail wrote to John on the twenty-ninth of September, “I fear my magninimnity would have faill’d me”  (Butterfield, III. 94-95).  Abigail was impatient and nervous.  She was also upset that John had gone, or that she had not gone with him and let him know this in the letters she wrote to France.  By November, Abigail would receive three letters from John.  “I cannot discribe the Effect they had upon me,” she wrote of his letters.  “Cheerfullness and tranquility took place of grief and anxiety” (Butterfield, III. 109). 

John was to receive the letters of complaint from Abigail the following month.  In what would be the only time in any of the letters that either John or Abigail showed any anger towards the other, John would send Abigail two separate letters chiding her for her complaints.  “For Heavens Sake, my dear dont indulge a Thought that it is possible for me to neglect, or forget all that is dear to me in this World,” John wrote on December 2.    “It is impossible for me to write as I did in America.  What should I write?  It is not safe to write any Thing.”  John wrote to her again on December 18^th after receiving another letter from Abigail complaining that John had not been writing enough, or with enough feeling.  This time, he responded more heatedly,

This is the third Letter I have recd. in this complaining style. the former two I have not answer'd.–I had Endeavour'd to answer them.–I have wrote several answers, but upon a review, they appear'd to be such I could not send. One was angry, another was full of Greif, and the third with Melancholy, so that I burnt them all….Am I not wretched Enough, in this Banishment, without this….I beg you would never more write to me in such a strain for it really makes me unhappy.

He closed his letter, however, on a more loving note.  “Be assured that no time nor place, can change my heart…& that I write to you so often as my Duty will permit” (Butterfield, III. 124, 138).  The time it took for letters to travel allowed for some of Abigail’s complaints to come through after John had sent his two letters in December.  In February 1779, the final angry letter between the two would be sent.  “For Gods sake,” John wrote, “never reproach me again with not writing or with Writing Scrips [scraps].  Your Wounds are too deep” (Butterfield, III. 174).  Abigail and John never mentioned the incident again, nor did the letter-writing relationship come close to breaking down ever again.

            In February, John learned that Benjamin Franklin had been appointed minister to France,

superceding the joint commission that Adams was serving on.*  With no further instructions sent to

him, John wrote home to tell Abigail joyously that he would soon be making his way back to her. 

Abigail responded days before John was to board the French frigate La Sensible back to Boston, that

the ship  “may bring me comfortable tidings from my dear dear Friend whose welfare is so essential to

 my happiness that it is entwined round my Heart, and cannot be impared or seperated from it without

 rendering it assunder” (Butterfield, III. 200).  She knew, however, that John would not remain at

home for long if his country needed him.  John arrived back in Boston on August 3, 1779.  A difficult

time, both for the Adamses’ marriage and for the nation, had passed.  The separation, however, would

continue for a few more years as John would only be at home with his dear friend for a couple of

months before his country required his services again. 

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* John Adams was appointed to replace Silas Deane to be a joint commissioner of France with Benjamin Franklin to work at attaining an alliance with France.  By the time Adams arrived, Franklin had already obtained the alliance with France.  Adams’ commission was dissolved and no further instructions were sent to him.

For Love and Country: John and Abigail Adams and the United States of America, part 2

Contemporaries

“Your Country is not yet, quite Secure enough, to excuse your Retreat to the Delights of domestic Life.  Yet, for the Soul of me, when I attend to my own Feelings, I cannot blame you.”

--John Adams to Thomas Jefferson,  May 26, 1777 (Cappon, I. 6)

To better understand the Adamses and their deep commitment to each other and their country, a contrast can be drawn between them and their contemporaries.  Men such as George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin, served their country in a political sense during and immediately following the Revolutionary War. *  Though they shared a sense of patriotism equal to John and Abigail Adams, it is impossible to find the same patriotic commitment that the Adamses shared among their contemporaries.  Many of their contemporaries married to consolidate their positions in society, to acquire property or to advance themselves socially (Wood 28).  John and Abigail married out of the love and respect they had for each other.

If any Revolutionary War era couple comes close to John and Abigail Adams, it is the Washingtons.  George Washington married Martha Custis, who was a rich widow.  Martha Washington often followed George Washington during the Revolutionary War, putting herself in danger while doing what she could to help the soldiers (Smith, Presidents 10).  She, however, did not have to spend years at a time away from George as Abigail did from John.  Another difference is that John Adams saw his wife as an equal (as much as a woman could be a man’s equal in that time), speaking and writing to her about politics and other intellectual ideas, among other items.  Martha, on the other hand, did not participate in political or intellectual conversations with George Washington (Smith, Presidents 10).



Another contemporary, Thomas Jefferson, was married to Martha Wayles Skelton, a rich widow in 1772.  When Martha was weak (especially after child birth), Jefferson would leave or decline political duties assigned to him in order to be with his wife.  John Adams never left his posts, even when Abigail or another family member was sick.  John wrote, in 1775, “If I should hear more disagreable Advices from you I shall certainly come home, for I cannot leave you, in such Affliction[. . .]unless there was an absolute Necessity of my staying here, to do a Duty to the Public” (Butterfield, I. 291).  Abigail, their children and Abigail’s mother were all sick, as were many others in town around her.  Abigail’s mother would die; still John would not come home, despite what he wrote.   Jefferson was extremely distraught at his wife’s passing in 1782.  He spent her final months at her bedside, and after she died he spent three weeks in his room and five months further without communicating with anyone (Padover 111).  He, unlike Adams, was willing to forgo public duty for private matters.



Benjamin Franklin married Deborah Read, but it was more of a pragmatic arrangement.  In fact, historian Gordon Wood suggests that the real reason Franklin married Deborah may have been because Franklin had a son from another woman and Deborah would raise him (40).  Franklin spent much of his marriage (fifteen of the last seventeen years) in Europe and was especially fond of the women of Paris, and they of him.  Franklin’s friend in England, William Strahan, even wrote to Deborah to try to persuade her to join Ben in Europe, even going so far as to allude to him possibly being unfaithful (Isaacson 178-179).  Deborah still would not leave America.  Franklin’s letters to Deborah have little intellectual or emotional content, being mostly concerned with business matters at home, while his letters to women friends show much more playfulness, emotion and intellect (Isaacson 180). 

The other leading couples of the time may have been patriotic and committed to each other, but no couple of the time displayed the level of commitment to both family and country as did the Adamses.

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* Other leading couples of the period, such as James and Dolley Madison and James and Elizabeth Monroe, took part in Revolutionary events, but were not married until after the Revolution had ended.  During the Revolutionary War, James Madison served in the legislature of the state of Virginia (1776-1779).  He was a delegate to the Continental Congress from 1780 to 1783, as the war was coming to a close.  At the 1787 Constitutional Convention, Madison drafted the basis of what was to become the Constitution that the United States has today.  It was not until 1794 that he married Dolley Payne Todd.  James Monroe joined the military as a sixteen year old and saw action as a soldier during the Revolutionary War.  He fought in numerous battles and was seriously wounded at the Battle of Trenton.  In 1780, he studied law under Thomas Jefferson, and from 1782 onward, he served in government positions.  In 1786, three years after the Treaty of Paris was signed, ending the Revolution, he married Elizabeth Kortright.